Settling Down: What to Do After Getting Engaged

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He popped the question, you said yes, and now, the journey to a lifetime of love begins. While you’re relishing in the cloud nine of your recent engagement, showing off the ring and replying to congratulatory greetings, it’s important to get a good grip on the reality that’s before you. What you do now will lay a strong foundation for a lasting marriage. 

That said, after posting that ring selfie, make sure to accomplish these to-do’s with your partner:

Talk About Finances

Most of the biggest fights in relationships are brought about by money. Finances can cause a strain in the relationship when it’s not handled responsibly. To avoid arguments in the future, sit down with your partner and discuss money matters now. 

There’s no one effective strategy in financial management for marital bliss. It solely depends on your unique situation and individual personality. Nonetheless, you should be able to talk about whether or not you’re going to have a joint account, where you’ll get sources for everyday expenses and big investments, what your financial habits as individuals are (saver or spender?), and more importantly, how much your debt is. These topics should help you draw up a money management game plan right before getting married.

And while you’re already on the subject of finances, talk about your budget for the wedding. Be honest about how much you (and each of your families or friends) are willing to contribute to the event. Agree on the aspects of the event you’ll be splurging and saving on. When looking for suppliers, stick to the budget through and through.

Start Searching for Your Home

A new chapter in your life means a new address. As early as the wedding preparations, commit to finding the home where you’ll build your family. The first step towards making this a reality is knowing your needs. What should your first home have? What type of house do you think would fit your lifestyle? Maybe it’s a single-family home with a big outdoor area in a gated village. Or perhaps you’re leaning towards a condominium unit near your office. 

Think of your needs not only in terms of space and location, but also in the aspect of utilities. Do you need a space that has three bedrooms? A bathroom on the second floor? A garage where you can park your cars? A big yard space but wouldn’t require maintenance? Agree with your future spouse what your needs are, along with how much you’re willing to pay for your first home. 

With that list and budget, begin your search. Start online. Look into property listings platforms, like Lamudi. Better yet, download the Lamudi app for easier search on mobile. Pick two to three options, then visit the properties.

Agree on Wedding Plan Duties.

From the get-go, be clear about your roles in the wedding preparations. This way, missed expectations won’t be a source of fights later, and more importantly, the burden will be shared. Start this conversation when you sit down and talk about the date of the event. As you go through your schedules, determine how involved each of you will be in the preparations. From there, get each other’s commitment to certain aspects of the event. 

Your groom, for instance, may contribute only to hiring the entertainment for the reception, given his busy schedule and a new project at work. Or, your bride may only be involved in picking flowers or coming up with a theme. Whatever you can do and contribute to the preparations, just be honest with each other to avoid fights and determine if there’s a need for a wedding planner. Do note, however, that for major aspects of the wedding, say, the venue, food, or guest list, it’s important that you don’t leave your partner alone in decision-making.

As you delight in the joys of getting engaged, don’t forget your to-do’s before the I-do’s. Settle the money talk, home search, and the wedding plan duties with your future spouse. Not only will these set you up for less stressful event preparations, but it will also pave your way to marital bliss.


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